I am a Queen - one of the loveliest of all the Brides.
I am strong, endowed with a strength from a never-ending source - able to do the mightiest tasks with a gentle ease.
I am the conqueror of the world. My words are given the same weights as those of my King.
There are days I am acutely aware of my solitary status, but even in those days, I lay down in my bed at night knowing the Spirit of My Love was beside me every moment of that day and the ache is a little less sharp.
I am a ministering priest to the Ruler of the Universe - an amazing thing to think I could even bring the haze of the incense into His Outer Court, let alone the Holiest of Holies.
But even with the Brideship and the Priesthood my heart aches some days.
I was born a helpmate. To be the right hand of a man. To hold up and support and move forward the greatness of a man.
And the Priesthood and the Brideship are amazing, but yet, the longing for that season when I can come home and celebrate with the leader of my home the victories of the Lord for that day.
To be able to open some of the innermost places of my spirit and find agreement and an apostolic force to help build it in this realm.
To share a common vision and drive it prophetically into manifestation.
To know the rest of a wife and mother - not shouldering the four-part covering as I am currently.
To minister to a man the way I minister to God and see the increasing greatness therein.
To know the overflow of love in my heart the way I never thought possible by having faithful arms to hold my spirit and embrace its passions that I have held for so long - pursuing on my own for lack of a suitable partner.
In the stillness of some afternoons my heart aches for this fellowship of another. there is something to be said for the accompaniment of another human.
My King already knows my heart, my passions, my dreams. He reveals His Truth in His Word, but there still lies in my soul that ache to share with another human - a partner for all the days of my life - that piece that is still missing and that at times leaves a gaping hole to ache in my soul.
Is Jesus enough for me - absolutely yes - by and far - yes.
But as humans we were made and said that it was not good for us to be alone - and every now and then that small portion is brought to the surface from it's hiding place deep in my soul.
And perhaps one day that hole will finally be patched for good - and that ache will be a forgotten memory of the past.
Peace,
La. Sra.
