In the blink of an eye we can be forced to look ourselves in the mirror and ask:
'Do I truly trust?'.
Life can change in a breath. Between one heartbeat and the next something can blindside us and we have to decide whether or not we genuinely believe.
Are we willing to lay our Isaacs on the altar? Be on the verge of letting all the life that is in our Promise be ripped open and flow freely upon the ground - knowing that somehow God can resurrect it?
To be given glimpses of the Promise - and to be told to remain strong when the pain was overwhelming - that what was shown was true - that the dreams and promises should never again be forgotten because of their pain -
And then to be in the middle of shadowy days that could hold the crumbling of those foundations - or could hold the greatest move forward toward the manifestation of the Visions of Promise given -
Again, I'm forced to answer the question:
'Do I trust beyond all doubt?'.
The peace that enveloped me in the beginning - when I wondered if the beauty of the Visions of Promise were actually real - returns. Somehow I know it will come to pass. God can and will orchestrate the means to the end.
All I desire is that this time I get Plan A.
The past has been different, however this time Plan B would be seconds and scraps compared to Plan A. I had a chance at Plan B and I refused it for the promises and beauty of Plan A. Surely that sacrifice can be honored and all the joys and beauty and hope in the Promise I have been given can be given in its original intent. This time - I WANT TO WIN. No more getting second best.
And in the near-blinding fog of what the next few days will bring surround me, there is a warmth of peace that although in some moments the tears flow the comfort of God is nearest.
No more a hardened heart - there is greater blessing in mourning and releasing our frailty and being comforted than there is in not feeling any pain. The peace and comfort is all that keeps me centered in these moments.
Whether journeying to a place where the death of a promise is imminent or journeying to a place after a promise has died hoping to have it resurrected hope is never lost - and in the end, the faith in the Promise manifesting and remaining alive reaps deep rewards.
All shall be well, God will have His Promise manifested. I just don't want Him to have to defer to a Plan B.
©Kristen Garcia 2-3-2012
