8-17-2010
Why is asking for genuine love like asking for the world? Is it so hard?
I want a love that is in the same vein as the love I give.
Is taking the time to truly know me - to know what makes me tick - to learn what small things bring me the greatest joy - and security - and act on what you learn so hard?
If it isn't, then why do you shove me into your pre-made mold of what I should be and enjoy? If not, then why do you throw my concerns back in my face when I try and broach the topic of what could be done to make me feel more loved and secure in us? Is your pride and ego really worth more than my trust?
Is it too hard to listen to my words and discern my heart and act on it?
If it isn't, then why do you shut down the minute I open my mouth to let you in on the most intimate thoughts and wishes of my heart and soul?
Don't say you don't. In your lack of words your clinched jaw, your breathing pattern, the tangible brick wall of your heart gives you away. That pain I can only handle so long before I back away. Don't think I don't know you that well.
Is it too hard for you to believe that I truly love you and no one else? You fear someone else will steal my gaze, when the truth is I choose on one but you.
Yet, you wonder why I shut down. Why I am silent when you ask my heart. Not only is the rejection tangible, but its hard to open up to someone who's spirit screams of wanting to flee and who's spirit exudes the sense of obligation rather than true love and desire.
Even when I do open up - why do you use my words against me later? Why can you not believe the validity of my words? Why do you laugh at some of the things I say? Are they so absurd to you that you cannot believe they come from the deepest parts of my being?
Why also do you run away when I try to pull the greatness that is in you to the surface? If you saw yourself the way I do, you would leap at the chance to come higher.
Yes, the demand and pull is great, but would I pull on you like that if I wasn't prepared and ready to nurture and do everything possible to see you succeed? Yet you run away.
I want to love you like no other before you. You are the one given to me - and yet - even if that was not already done I would still choose you to love. Why is that so hard to believe?
I want to lavish you with beautiful things and make the greatest memories with you, yet you reject what I give you because you cannot see that you are worth the expense - or worse - you suspect the motive. Have I ever given you a reason to worry? I will never change my mind regarding you.
I want so earnestly for you to truly love me.
For you to put away every preconceived notion you have of how you should love me and hear my heart through my words - see my soul in my deeds - and want to love me in a way where I can trust you the most intimate parts of my being.
It is in that place that we can be side by side, moving forward toward the beauty of the marriage that has been foretold since the foundations of the Earth.
I didn't die and rise to Glory for anything less than this.
Yes, I may be asking for the world - but it is because I have already bought the world with my Blood and placed it on your hand as a pledge of the marriage we will have once your willing to enter into it.
Do you dare say, 'I Do'?
©Kristen Garcia 8/10
Why is asking for genuine love like asking for the world? Is it so hard?
I want a love that is in the same vein as the love I give.
Is taking the time to truly know me - to know what makes me tick - to learn what small things bring me the greatest joy - and security - and act on what you learn so hard?
If it isn't, then why do you shove me into your pre-made mold of what I should be and enjoy? If not, then why do you throw my concerns back in my face when I try and broach the topic of what could be done to make me feel more loved and secure in us? Is your pride and ego really worth more than my trust?
Is it too hard to listen to my words and discern my heart and act on it?
If it isn't, then why do you shut down the minute I open my mouth to let you in on the most intimate thoughts and wishes of my heart and soul?
Don't say you don't. In your lack of words your clinched jaw, your breathing pattern, the tangible brick wall of your heart gives you away. That pain I can only handle so long before I back away. Don't think I don't know you that well.
Is it too hard for you to believe that I truly love you and no one else? You fear someone else will steal my gaze, when the truth is I choose on one but you.
Yet, you wonder why I shut down. Why I am silent when you ask my heart. Not only is the rejection tangible, but its hard to open up to someone who's spirit screams of wanting to flee and who's spirit exudes the sense of obligation rather than true love and desire.
Even when I do open up - why do you use my words against me later? Why can you not believe the validity of my words? Why do you laugh at some of the things I say? Are they so absurd to you that you cannot believe they come from the deepest parts of my being?
Why also do you run away when I try to pull the greatness that is in you to the surface? If you saw yourself the way I do, you would leap at the chance to come higher.
Yes, the demand and pull is great, but would I pull on you like that if I wasn't prepared and ready to nurture and do everything possible to see you succeed? Yet you run away.
I want to love you like no other before you. You are the one given to me - and yet - even if that was not already done I would still choose you to love. Why is that so hard to believe?
I want to lavish you with beautiful things and make the greatest memories with you, yet you reject what I give you because you cannot see that you are worth the expense - or worse - you suspect the motive. Have I ever given you a reason to worry? I will never change my mind regarding you.
I want so earnestly for you to truly love me.
For you to put away every preconceived notion you have of how you should love me and hear my heart through my words - see my soul in my deeds - and want to love me in a way where I can trust you the most intimate parts of my being.
It is in that place that we can be side by side, moving forward toward the beauty of the marriage that has been foretold since the foundations of the Earth.
I didn't die and rise to Glory for anything less than this.
Yes, I may be asking for the world - but it is because I have already bought the world with my Blood and placed it on your hand as a pledge of the marriage we will have once your willing to enter into it.
Do you dare say, 'I Do'?
©Kristen Garcia 8/10
