If your heart is so cold, so hardened by the ways the world has forced you to survive, then hold your silence while I look at the world with wonderment.
I, too, have had my share of emotional beat downs for when my oddities and kindness were seen as weakness - but, I swore to never let the pain others tried to force feed into me steal the wonderment of the world around me.
If the vulnerability of seeing beauty in a moment is too much for you, then stand aside as I take in the awe of the simplicity of a moment.
Let me ooh and ahh at a fireworks display or the view of the mountains that arise from the horizon after taking a turn into a Colorado Valley.
Permit me the moment to exhale into a fresh salty breeze while dolphins dance 10 yards away - or to let the smell and sounds of autumn in a Shenandoah river bed bring rejuvenation to my being as memories of weekend hikes from my childhood come into my mind like a flood.
You may have lost your ability to remember how incredible it was to see and learn things for the first time, but do not steal the bright, wide-eye exclamation that comes to my face when I see a field of beans out on a back 40 road lit up like a thousand paper lamps in the sky when the lightning bugs begin their symphony in the haze just above the crops.
You have learned to stop listening to the harmony and melodies that fill the quiet pauses, but don't you dare chide me for being unable to stop the tears when the reverberation of a chord on a baby grand hits a part of my soul that I didn't know needed to hear that.
Too busy counting dollars and snatching receipts to look up, you forgot that the stars and whipsy falling embers and smoke of a campfire were the perfect way to end a day and serve as the reminder we all need to be humble and generous and listen to the stories of our loved ones - as those are also as innumerable as the stars in the sky.
I may exude all that shines and sparkles in the way I live and love - but I promise you this - the few shards you might be able to chisel away from me to add to your stack of what your cold soul considers valuable will not be the in the same glittery category as what you horde.
No. Those few tiny shards you pack away as a trophy carry so much purity of passion for the greatness of life that they will incinerate everything they touch that isn't worthy of being with them, leaving you with nothing. Try to crack me if you can, but know the cost of carrying the small shard you were able to chip away will cost you everything you thought you treasured.
©Kristen Garcia 12-2018
