Sanctuary. Safety. A place to grow.
That is what the arms of love are to look like.
Growth is not immune from pruning and trimming, but it is done in the safety of love.
When one survives on competition and the dominance against all those in their space, peace can never be found.
When one's position is based on how deeply they can dull the naturally brighter lights around them, a sanctuary can never be created.
The remains of the pages where their torn-off edges remain in the notebook serve as the reminder of such heartfelt attempts to awaken the compassion and kindness locked away from the world so long ago.
Ink pens, drained of their liquid to create those words, remain in their jars, their ink levels as low as the hope in the soul that drained them......hoping someday those pleas for goodness to come back would be heard.
Small reminders lay everywhere, they become inescapable.
Constant companions of failures and tiny breakthrough moments that whisper words that are as destructive as they are reassuring - the lessons of why and to what benefit still a mystery.
And when grace and forgiveness are extended continually, the cracks created in souls of stone are quickly patched with lead, with hopes of never feeling the pain of real emotion ever again.
The scariest thing to a heart that has shut itself off from feeling anything are the moments where the heart comes alive again and is overtaken by joy, hope, love - because every time they are followed by deep pain.
And being numb is safer, easier, and will never disrupt the inner world as feeling alive will.
Sometimes one more ounce of pain is all it takes to break a spirit. To feel is to chance that shattering - to remain numb is the safest option.
As poetically beautiful as they are painful, perhaps that is the true lesson - that the mystery of how we grow for the better when the energy of a loved one has turned against us - may have to remain just that - a mystery to be respected and contemplated. It's lesson ever evolving as we move through life.
©Kristen Garcia 08-2019
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