Thursday, August 22, 2019

Will you wait?

Written 2-12-2010

That look tells me everything.

I'm frustrated, too, but the coldness of your eyes catches me off-guard.

You're hurt, so am I. This wasn't what I expected either, but this is how it is in this moment.

I swear I've mastered many types of love - but this is different. You don't need those kinds of love as much as you need me to let go and be vulnerable. And to be honest, I suck at that.

To be laid bare; to end the masquerade of strength so the truth about how weak and fragile I really am can finally be visible.

Herein lies the truth - the real strength is in this act. No fear to cry, no fear of failing, no fear of being shattered again.

But too often I am too weak to let go of the one thing holding me back --- and that is precisely the one thing you need so you can love me.

You have had this love from me before. But it did not come without tears and sleepless nights. But, even in those struggles, it was the greatest time of my life. The most exhilarating and joyful of all my days on this Earth.

Yet, with the passing of the days my heart grows colder to the joy and my weakness has brought us to this place - where your spirit also shows a cooling.

To live; to love; to laugh again, I must find the strength once more to be laid bare and feign strength no more.

The question is - will you still be here when this is achieved? Is my love, the truest of my love, worth waiting for?

Are the dreams rekindled enough to restore hope in what we will have?

Only you can make that decision.

©Kristen Garcia 08-2019

No comments: