Thoughts from 38 years

A few years ago one of my friends said 'Every time I turn around you're talking to someone different!'

And it's true. People have circles. And tribes. I have always floated, and never landed for long. I've never fit like a perfect puzzle piece in a circle of people.

But in that is a great blessing. I meet more people. My circle, as broken as and misfitting into it as I appear to fall into it, is broad. Black, Middle Eastern, Indian, Christian, Muslim, Atheist, DREAMER, citizen, undocumented, visitor visa, Gay, Straight, Trans, poor, struggling, doing ok, and want for nothing - and EVERYTHING in between.

My circle is not unbroken, but if I were to draw lines between its members it would encompass many corners of world. It may mean celebrating many things alone, or with one or two, but I would not trade the quality of people within it for well attended celebrations or influxes of communication on days of great celebration.

This past year has brought many challenges and changes.

Companions of many years lost or regularly separated from our daily lives.

Expansions at our home and at work.

Being stretched from unexpected people entering my life and delays on things that began as what looked to be a smooth process.

Telling Satan to fuck off and walking away from things I love when selling my soul to Satan was the condition to continue to do things I love with people I love. Sometimes we have to do the hard things to save our souls from evil.

Other than my weight and size going up, I wouldn't change any of it.

Last year at this time I was dragging the Wondertwins all over Granger (a 30-40 minute drive across town) trying to find a pineapple upside down cake. After 4 different places I landed a gluten free lemon cupcake. The frosting was a daisy. It was a compromise I settled for because I was tired and over searching for a unicorn on my birthday. I think the daisy was it's only redeeming factor.

This year, I asked and received. And it was delectable. And one of those dearly beloved souls my heart loves was able to join the Wondertwins and I for the cake. And since her birthday was about 10 days ago, it was fitting we got to eat it together.

Flame on. It's time to light the world on fire.....

If I could light the world up for just one day.... no one can be just like me, anyway.

©Kristen Garcia 03-2019